Hopeful Mishandlings
by Original Max A
Summary: What could have happened during "Borrowed Time" in season 2. Max and Logan finally bang the gong, but could the results of one night cause more pain than death, the virus or Manticore ever did? BTW, Brin's back.
1. Default Chapter

Warning: Ranting ahead. You might not want to read if you have concern for your sanity. You have been warned.

How should I explain this thing? Well, season two of Dark Angel was a series of bad decisions one right after the other. It's kind of unfortunate that the best episode of that season had nothing to do with the main "couple" (The Berrisford Agenda).The virus thing was a very annoying idea that good have been overcome easily, as proven by the last episodes. It would have been cool if it had been used effectively. There are many ways to get passed the "no-touching" rule, as proven by countless Rogue (from X-Men) scenarios. Anyway, enough of my ranting about a show that has been cancelled for more than two years. This story will highlight the biggest obstacle that Max and Logan had when trying to be together… each other. It takes place during "Borrowed Time" and goes on a tangent from there. Enjoy.

Original Max A

* * *

"How about a perfect quickie?" Logan asked playfully, but the look in his eye told Max that he was at least half-serious.

She wanted to take full advantage of this wonderful, if temporary miracle, but for her that didn't mean just sex. It meant taking pleasure is something as simple as helping Logan make dinner for them or brushing up against him. It meant packing all the things she had missed in the past few months and all the time they had wasted into a few hours.

"Open this," she laughed handing him a bottle of wine. Happily obliging her, Logan took the bottle and went into the kitchen to get the cork opener. As he walked away from her, Max seriously began to reconsider her position. _Maybe a quickie wasn't such a bad idea_, she thought as she walked to the counter. Logan turned and made eye contact with her as he was open the wine. Feeling as if he could read her thoughts, she suddenly felt a little shy and smiled. This was going to be a lot harder than she thought.

"So how did this happen anyway?" he asked her.

"Long story," she replied, shaking her head.

"I'm all ears," Logan said, handing her glass of wine.

"Well, you remember when Joshua painted all over my lab papers?"

"Uh-huh."

"It actually helped. I was able to derivate an equation for a serum that would block the virus in my blood. I had it checked out by a lab tech and he said I was right. Of course for him to make the thing for me, he wanted some ched."

Logan looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"How much?"

"Do you really want to know?" she challenged.

"You didn't."

"Logan."

"You did."

"Hey, my skills are a little rusty. I needed the practice," Max smiled.

Logan laughed, "So what did you steal?"

Loosed up by the wine that they just had, Logan and Max were lying silently on the couch, listening to the music that he had put on. Apparently, he had a jazz collection that he kept hidden. It surprised Max when he first put it on, but it instantly relaxed her. Listening to it made this time all the more perfect. She knew that many times jazz artists used improvisation in there works and somehow it was beautiful. Somehow the complexity, mistakes and spontaneity all worked. It all came together into one intricate, incredible whole. Looking up at Logan, she thought about how that explained perfectly how they were. They had made so many mistakes and somehow they were making it work. It was hard, but she never lost faith. If she did, she would not be comfortable right now, sitting across his lap and leaning her head into the crook of his neck. She took in his smell and feeling of him rubbing her back. _Perfect_ was the only word she could think of to describe this moment. She felt more like herself than she had in a while just sitting there and listening to him breathe. In the beginning, she hung out with Logan because he made her feel normal, but now with the trangenics being all over the place and the virus (although currently in submission) she could not even pretend to be normal anymore. And Logan was still here, loving her. Accepting her. And that's what she loved about him.

Max took a deep breath. She knew it was probably really hard for Logan to take it slow like this, but she really appreciated it. She appreciated him and things he did to make her happy. But she felt it was time for a change.

"Logan," she whispered.

"Mmm," he replied turning to her, smiling.

Max returned the smile and kissed him. Their mutual passion surrounding them, Max felt like she was falling in love all over again with each kiss. They carefully made their way to the bedroom and made love for 8 hours, 15 minutes and 20 seconds.

_

* * *

__Time to go,_ Max's mind said to her, _time to get up and walk away._ Max's mind said to her, 

_Just a few more minutes please, _she begging, trying to get closer to Logan's body.

She shifted some more and accidentally woke him up. He yawned for minute and then looked down at her. He thought there was nothing more beautiful than seeing Max with him in the morning. He smiled at her and she returned in whole-heartedly. Then his eyes changed. He knew she had to go. As Max had said ten hours may seem like a long time, but it wasn't, not for them anyway. Max could almost see what was going on in his head. She wanted to say something, but nothing seemed right at the moment. What was she going to say? "Gotta blaze." "See ya later." "It was fun." Or utter "I love you," like she had a million times over last night. How could she leave when she knew it might be permanent and they might never be like this again? She looked at him with all of her questions in her eyes, the most prominent of which was simply how to say goodbye.

Logan took a breath and smiled at her again, more sad this time. Logan bent down and kissed her sweetly, tenderly, lovingly. But as with most things with Max, what started out simple soon got heated. She touched and grabbed for him as he held on to her hair. He always had this slight obsession with her hair. He loved it, but this had to stop. Gathering up the limited control he had left, he pulled away from her. The whimper she made when he pulled away almost made him reconsider about letting her go, but he knew she would never forgive herself if anything happened to him.

He pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "Just go."

That was the exact same thing that he said to her the first time they had kissed almost a year ago outside his uncle's cabin. She had the same look on her face as she did back then. She looked lonely and scared, but most of all she looked sad about what she was about to miss and who she was about to leave behind. But Logan also saw the determination inside her sad eyes. She would do what she had to do even if it broke her heart.

Promising herself that she would not to cry, Max made her way out of the bed and silently put her clothes back on. She left without looking at Logan again because she knew if she did, she would break her promise.

* * *

"And that's it," she said, relating a much edited version of what happened to her yesterday to Original Cindy. She knew she hadn't been hanging with her girl too much, but she needed her. She needed a friend who was related to her "around-the-way" girl past. 

"So it's ova?" Original Cindy asked sitting down next to Max, "You bang the gong once…"

Max looked at her sideways.

"Ok, more, but it only counts as once and you two are back were you were before?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Umm. Now that's a bitch."

"Don't I know it? It's weird. I've slept with guys during heat and get totally flushed if I see them again. It feels awkward and all of a sudden I feel dirty. Like I need to take a non-stop shower for a month. But I don't think it will be the same with Logan."

"What do you think it'll be like?" Original Cindy asked.

"Honestly, comfortable. Maybe a little too comfortable and I might end up killing him," Max responded looking off into the distance.

"Well, at least you finally got to do something about your feelings for him after all of this time."

"Yea, I guess so."

"But one thing, though. Please don't go 'round with that, "I'm a danger to e'erbody" dealio. Logan's tired of hearin' it and so is Original Cindy," she stated.

"I told you before, that's what keeps everybody safe."

"And what keeps you alone. Listen, was Logan being in a wheelchair a problem fo' you when it came to wantin' to get wit him?"

Max looked at Original Cindy like she had grown two heads, "Of course not. That ain't what was important. I cared about him and not what he could or couldn't do. Besides, it was more his problem than mine. It truly didn't matter to me. He was just too stubborn to realize it sometimes."

Original Cindy looked at Max with that all-knowing glare in her eyes.

"If ya won't listen to Original Cindy, listen to yourself."

Max took a deep breath. There were ways around the "no-touching" problem. They could beat this thing. One thing she learned last year was that they make an awesome team and hopefully that would be enough for them to get what they both wanted.

"I gotta..." Suddenly, Max felt a sudden pain in her stomach. She felt like she had been punched hard in the stomach and her internal organs were now doing summersaults in her body. Grabbing her stomach and her mouth, she raced into the bathroom and throw up in the toilet.

"Max!" Original Cindy shouted going after her, "What's up, boo?"

Max's only response was the constant regurgitation of her food from the past twenty four hours. Original Cindy rubbed her back trying to provide some type of support or comfort. Finally, Max relaxed and sat on the floor next to the toilet.

"What was that all about?" Original Cindy asked.

Max looked up at her and shook her head, "I have no idea."


	2. Bring the Pain

First of all, Thank you, thank you, thank you to all that reviewed the first chapter of this story. I have never received so many reviews in such a short amount of time. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. On with the story and good luck in the New Year. Enjoy.

Original Max A

"Feelin' better?" Original Cindy asked giving Max a cup of tea. She sat next to her on that couch as Max sipped slowly. Max put the cup down and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm aiight," she replied softly.

"So what? Do you think you're sick, like stomach virus or something?"

Max shook her head, "Nah. Genetically-engineered super soldier, remember? My immune system is like top security with fences, dogs and the whole nine."

"If you say so, boo. But you don't go puking like that fo' nothin'"

"True dat," Max agreed, "Looks like I might have to see Sam."

"Who?"

"Logan's doc."

"You sure that's cool?"

"Yeah. He's good people."

"Oh…" Original Cindy replied and bit her lip. She looked at Max, tumbling questions over in her mind.

"What!" Max demanded.

"Nothin', just thinkin," she said and got up, "You want some more tea."

"No, I'm cool. What were you thinking?"

"Neva mind, it doesn't make sense."

Max folded her arms and raised her eyebrow at Original Cindy.

"Try me," she dared.

Original Cindy rolled her eyes, "Aiight, aiight. Original Cindy was just thinking…that maybe…" she took a deep breath, "Maybe you have a bun in the oven."

"What are you? Nuts! No way," Max concluded. She stood up and started pacing.

"No, no, no, no, no!" she stated as she continued to pace and then stopped in front of Original Cindy.

"Anyway, symptoms wouldn't show up for a few weeks. Even if I was, which I'm not, I wouldn't throw up the day after."

Original Cindy put her hand on her shoulder, "But, girl, you're so revved-up, how do you know that's not revved up too?"

Max shook her head, "It wouldn't be like this. I'm telling you, something else is up."

Just as Max went to grab to the phone to call Logan, someone knocked on the door. Max and Original Cindy froze and looked at each other for a moment.

"You expecting someone?" Max asked, holding the phone to her chest.

"Uh-uh," Original Cindy replied.

Max put the phone back in the cradle and signaled for Original Cindy to answer the door.

"What?" Original Cindy questioned, not getting what Max was doing.

Max sighed in annoyance, "Just answer the door."

Max moved just outside the frame of the door, in case of some sort of attack. Original Cindy grabbed the knob and Max nodded to her.

"May I help you?" Original Cindy asked once she opened the door.

There was an Asian woman standing in front of her who was about 20 or so. She was dressed in black pants, shirt and a long black jacket. Her hair, once in a tight French braid, was now wild. Her eyes were a little red.

"Is Max here?" she asked.

"Who wants to know?"

"Her sister, Brin."

Seeping with anger, Max turned over to see her sister, "What do you…"  
Her rage caught in her throat as she took in Brin's haggard appearance.

"Max, I need your help."

Max stayed halfway in the door assessing the woman in front of her. She could believe that Brin had the nerve to see her and still call herself her sister. They had done to Brin what they couldn't do to Max during the months that she was at Manticore; they had turned her back into a solider. As a reprogrammed solider, Brin captured their other sister, Tinga, and when Zach, Syl, Krit and Max attacked Manticore, Brin chose to stay. With Manticore now burnt to the ground and the high-ups trying to eradicate its existence, Max thought that maybe that was why Brin thought she could just walk back into her life claiming to still be family, but she couldn't be sure.

"Original Cindy, go to the window, see if there's anyone outside," Max ordered.

"What am I looking for?" she asked once she got to the window.

"The men in black and if they are not there, then dudes who look out of place with shiny black shoes," she directed, never leaving the doorway.

"I'm alone, Max," she said in a sharp monotone.

"Let me be the judge of that."

Original Cindy returned shaking her head, "I didn't see anything,"

"Do you want to check for yourself, Max, and make sure she didn't miss anything?" Brin mocked.

"No. I trust her," she replied, staring Brin down, "You packin'?"

"What do you think?"

"Hand it over!"

"You must be insane."

"Hand it over or walk! I don't know why you're here, Brin, but if you need my help, then we're doing it my way," she demanded and held her hand out for anything and everything that Brin had brought with her. Brin gave Max her guns and a knife.

"Now do you trust me?" Brin asked.

"No," Max replied and moved to let Brin in.

"Like I began to say, what do you want?" she demanded and shoved Brin into the couch. Brin glared at Max for a minute, angered at the kind of treatment she was receiving, but she couldn't be choosy about her allies.

"I need to disappear."  
"Don't we all," Max snipped, standing in front of her.

"Look, Max. I need to get to somewhere where they can't catch me and I need to do it soon."

"You got two legs. Why do you need me?"

Brin opened up her jacket to reveal a very swollen belly.

"Because I've gotten as far as I can on my own," she replied.

Original Cindy moved to Max's side.

"Wouldja look at that?" Original Cindy turned to Max with a smirk on her face, "Looks like you're not the only one."

Brin looked at Max up and down, "If you're pregnant and no showing, then you must not have conceived at Manticore. I cannot believe that you would breed with one of the diseased miscreants out here. You could have at least…"

"Brin! You came to me to save your ass. I don't think you're in a position to judge my choices," she stressed.

Max stormed away from Brin and grabbed her jacket, "Come on, we're going to see a friend of mine."

"Who?" Brin inquired tersely.

Max ignored her and opened the door wide open, "Just follow orders, solider."

Max and Brin arrived on at their destination about 20 minutes later. They climbed the steps and Max knocked on the door.

"No one home," a gruff voice replied

"Come on, Big Fella. It's me!" Max called. Brin gave her a questioning look.

Max smirked, "Trust me."

Just then, Joshua opened the door. Brin, instantly got into a defensive stance, reacting to Joshua's appearance. He looked at Brin and then shut it. Max was taken back in surprise by Joshua's behavior. Confused, she banged on the door again.

"What's wrong?" she shouted.

"Her!" Joshua grunted from the other side of the door, "Manticore!"

"Joshua, it's okay. She's with me. I need you," she yelled through the door.

"Why?"

"I need you to do me a favor," Max stated.

Joshua opened the door, "What favor?"

"Let us in and I'll tell ya, Big Fella."

Joshua nodded and let them in.

"Look after her," she said, once they were inside, "And make sure she doesn't go anywhere."

Brin looked at Max in disgust, "You really expect me to stay here with this…nomlie?"

Joshua growled in her direction.

"Shut up, Brin! I told you, we're doing this my way," she ordered and then turned her attention back on Joshua, "Can you do this for me?"

"Yes. But come back."

Max smiled, "I will. Just…"

"Wait! Why are you leaving me here?" Brin demanded.

"Until I can figure things out, you'll be safe here. Joshua will protect you, if you need it," Max explained.

Brin shook her head, "I don't like it."

"Tough!" Max responded annoyed, "You came to me remember? This is the plan so far, take or leave it."

Brin remained silent and slowly took a seat in one of Joshua's chairs.

"Okay," Max said and then turned to Joshua.

"I'll be back in little while," commented she and hugged him.

"Be safe, little fella"

"You too," she replied and left the house.

"Logan!" Max shouted, unapologetically entering his apartment. She was so focused on Brin's reappearance that she didn't have time to think about the repercussions of last night, until she entered the apartment. All of her feelings came back in a rush and the mission-driven ride down here was forgotten. Although she told Original Cindy that she would feel comfortable around him again, now she wasn't sure. At least with Brin around they had something else to focus on besides each other. Max hoped that would make things…more manageable.

"Hey," Logan called coming up to her.

"Hey," she replied smiling.

"How are you holding up? He asked cautiously.

"I'm alright. You?"

He smiled, "Good. Actually better than I've been in a while."

"Me too," Max replied and they fell into a peaceful silence.

This was the comfortable part. Max felt like the edge was gone, the constant pressure she felt to do the impossible to get what she wanted. They could now look at each other with a little less regret and sorrow in their eyes over what could have been. Now they were better able to stop looking at what could have been and instead looking at what is. Somehow, the present didn't seem quite as bleak as in did before. The night they had spent together renewed something in their relationship that neither often acknowledged, but both needed…faith.

The virus had taken so much energy out of their relationship that sometimes it was hard to understand why they kept on trying. Logan sometimes felt like he was crawling and begging for the straps of emotional caring that Max would give to him. He loved her, yes, but a man's pride could only take so much. What Max thought was protection, was punishment for Logan for the crime of wanting to be with her and damning the consequences. Max still hurt over her ability to hurt him. Causing pain to the ones she loved and considered family made her feel unworthy of the air she was breathing. But now as they looked at each other, they began to realize something, somehow, things were going to be okay because they believed it, because they had faith.

Logan shook his head, "So, from the way you walked in here, I take it, this isn't a social visit."

"Nah. Brin is in Seattle."

"Brin?" Logan questioned. That was a name he hadn't heard in a long time, not since Max's other sister, Tinga died.

"Yeah. She's knocked up and needs to disappear," Max stated with a little disdain in her voice.

"Do you want to help her?" Logan asked.

"I have to," she replied walking around him.

She faced Logan, "I have to help her."

"Despite was she did to Tinga?" Logan challenged.

Max looked at the floor.

"I can't change that, Logan," she replied and then looked up, "But at least if I help her, I can stop another niece or nephew from becoming motherless."

Max walked back up to him, "You know what will happen to her if she gets caught. They're not trying to capture transgenics anymore, they are trying to kill us and I won't stand back and watch if I can stop it."

"She could just be playing on your sympathies, Max. You and Zach helped her before and she knows you'll do anything for family."

"Maybe, but I told you. Pregnancy is a career killer for a solider," Max commented and cocked her head to side, 'So, could you please hook a girl up?"

"Alright, but there's something about this I don't like Max," Logan replied.

"Me too," she agreed, "But for right now…let's just try to get this bitch over with."

A/N: So Dr. Sam Carr is mentioned in this chapter. Honestly, I don't remember if or when he ever learns about who Max really is. I just know that in After The Dark, it was Sam to did the test on Max and Logan's blood to see if the virus was gone.


	3. Revelations

As Logan went to work, Max laid down on the couch. Once she lied down, a sharp pain gripped her abdomen causing an inaudible gasp from Max's mouth. She felt like tiny knives were trying to escape from inside her belly. And then as quickly as it started, it stopped, leaving only a dull ache.

She wondered, _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Max didn't understand it. First she was throwing up like there was no tomorrow and now she felt like someone had squeezed her lower muscles with a vice and twisted it. She would need to see Sam sooner than she thought. She slowly stood up with a grunt, thinking that maybe moving around would make her feel better. She walked away from the couch, planning to go into Logan's office, and then bolted past it to the bathroom.

"Max, are you okay?" Logan asked, hearing her speedy footsteps.

"Yeah!" she shouted from the bathroom. After cleaning up and getting herself together, Max went to his office.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked when she came into the room.

"Not really," she revealed.

"What's the matter?" he questioned, getting a little closer to her.

"I don't know. I think I'm coming down with something, but I don't know what. But I can't be out of it with Brin around," Max stated.

"What's Brin have to do with you being sick?"

"A solider must not show any weakness."

"Oh. Sibling Rivalry."

"It's not that trivial. Brin may be out of the cage, but her mind is still trapped at Manticore. She came to me for help. If I show any weakness, I'm no longer alpha."

"I thought you and your siblings didn't really have ranks, except Zach, of course."

"We don't. But I refuse to treat Brin as my sister and I don't think she'd let me even if I wanted to."

"She was brain-washed, Max."

"She wanted to go back and then turned against us. They used her against me when I was at Manticore. She was present when they tortured me and did nothing. If that's not worthy of being disowned, I don't know what is."

"Do you think she might be looking for forgiveness?" Logan proposed.

"I'm not that high-minded, and neither is she," Max stated coldly, clearly ended the discussion on that topic.

"I need to find out what's up with me," she concluded.

Logan let out a breath, "I'll go call Sam."

"Thanks," Max said as Logan grabbed the telephone.

* * *

Logan drove Max to Dr. Sam Carr's clinic. The clinic was not in the best part of town, but then again, there were very few good parts left. Despite its outside appearance, it was very clean and sanitary although somehow it managed not to have that sickly hospital smell. Max was grateful for that because that smell brought up too many bad memories.

"Logan. Max," Sam greeted them when they walked in.

"Nice to see you, Sam," Logan returned.

"Hi," Max said, "Thanks for taking a look at me."

"My pleasure," Sam replied.

Sam gestured to the end of the hallway, "Shall we?"

Max looked around, "Doctor, where are your other patients. I don't want them to suffer because of me."

Sam smiled, "It's okay. This is actually my hour lunch break. I'm always closed at this time of the day."

Max nodded and followed Sam to one of the exam rooms. Logan began to come along until Sam stopped him.

"Sorry. No one, but the patient."

Logan looked at him funny, "Since when did the rules apply me?"

"Since you brought be a female patient. Logan, I'm going to have to ask Max some questions, more than likely she will be more willing to answer them openly without you around."

Logan was taken back by this.

"What's wrong? I don't understand."

"From the symptoms that you described, there are several possibilities about what is the matter, most of which women don't like to be discussed. Logan, just wait and I promise that she will be out soon."

Logan didn't like being dismissed, but he figured it was for the best. So being the guy he was, he simply nodded and sat in the waiting room.

"So how long has this been going on?" Sam asked once he was in the room with Max. She sat on the doctor's table.

"About a day or so."

He walked closer to her, holding a clipboard, "Have you had any strange food since than? Anything you didn't recognize?"

"No, just the usual," she replied, and then commented with a smile, "Though I doubt it would still be in my system."  
"What?" Sam asked, looking from his clipboard.

"Nothing. What's next on the questionnaire, doc?"  
"Um, have you inhaled any fumes lately, including hallucinogens?"

"Nah, unless motor oil counts."

Sam reached up and felt her forehead, "Well, you're not too hot, but I'd say your immune system is definitely doing some work."

"So what's up?"

"I'm not sure. One last question Max."

Max shrugged her shoulders, "Shoot."

"Have you engaged in any sexual activity within the last few weeks?"

Max was taken back by this, "Excuse me?"

"Have you…"

"I heard the question, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"If I'm going to treat you, I have to look out for all possibilities, including STD's," he explained.

"STD's? You're joking, right? Didn't that go out small pox?" Max countered.

"Of which there was a small outbreak of in 2012. You're right, all STD's besides HIV when almost extinct before the pulse, but people couldn't get access to medical care and… you know how it is."

Max nodded, "Yeah, I do. But no worries, doc. Me and my partner are clean."

"You sure about that? Did you ask? Did you use a condom?"

Max froze. One of the benefits of being genetically enhanced is having a great memory, but apparently her mind hadn't working well enough at the time to get Logan to strap one on.

"By your silence, I'm assuming that's a no."

"I was kind of in the moment, you know."

"Yes, well," He said putting his hands on the sides of her throat, "You should bring this person in to have them tested just in case."

Max took a breath, "Just go outside."

Sam gave Max a questioning look for a moment.

"Logan?"

"Yeah."

"But I thought you two couldn't touch?" he inquired.

"We can't. Not now anyway. Long story short. I found a temporary cure and we took advantage of it."

"I won't ask how you got, but we better get him in here," Sam said and walked out the room.

"Hey. Can't we do this…" she started and then Logan walked in the room, "one at a time."

"What's going on Sam?" Logan asked once he was inside, "I thought you didn't want me here?"

"Max has told me that you two had intercourse recently."

Logan stole a look at Max as she stared down at the floor. Max was never easily embarrassed, but this was definitely one of those times she wished the earth would shallow her for a moment. Logan looked back at Sam.

"That's correct, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"It's possible that a certain strain of STD's could be the reason for her sickness. I know this ma be difficult, but I need to know how many partners you two have had within the last year."

"Two," Max answered almost immediately.

Logan looked at her out of the corner of his eye, wondering who she was taking about. She moved her head toward him.

"Our anniversary, remember," she explained, remorse lacing her voice.

He nodded.

"Logan," Sam coaxed.

"Don't worry," Max commented suddenly, looked back at Logan, "It's not like I expected you to remain celibate for 7 months."

Logan wasn't sure whether or not to be offended by Max's assumption.

"Sam, could you excuse us for a minute."

"Sure," he responded and left the room.

"What was that about?" he asked Max.

"What you so bent about?" she questioned, "I was just sayin' that whatever you did, it's okay."

"Why are you assuming I did anything?"

"Well, did you?" she countered, standing up to face him.

"That's not what this is about."

"Oh really. And all this time, I thought this was me hacking my guts out and feeling like some squeezed my stomach with a vice."

"It's about you trusting me, Max."

"Oh yeah. So why are you avoiding the question? Who was it, huh? Asha. Some chick, I've never met? Who?"

"Does it matter? You probably wouldn't believe a word I said," he replied turning away from her

"Logan, Shut up! Shallow your pride and tell me the damn truth. I'm sick. And unless you tell me what's up, it could get worse. What the hell happened?"

Logan hung his head, "Asha. Almost."

"Almost?"

He turned back around.

"It was late. We got pretty far, but I couldn't go through with it. She wasn't you," he admitted. Logan wanted to touch her so much at this moment. He wanted to reassure her with something more than words.

"Oh. Anyone else?" she said in a monotone.

"No," he replied.

"Let's get Sam back in here."

* * *

After answering all of Sam's questions, he took a blood sample, urine sample, and swabs of saliva from both of them. He told them that he would have the results for them soon. The drive back to Fogle Towers was quiet. Max was digesting the information that Logan revealed to her. She really couldn't blame him, but that did change that fact that it hurt. It could really be called cheating on her because they never really said that they were together at all or even that they were exclusive. And just when something was about to start, she died for three months and when she came back… It just was a hard situation all around.

Not having sex for so long was actually kind of easy for Max. To her, sex was just something that she had to do to get rid of her heat or something to do to get her boyfriends off of her back. She never really did it for pleasure or affection, it was just a necessary evil. Being with Logan was the first time she had done something with someone that she cared about. It was the first time that sex wasn't the basis of a relationship, but instead the expression of one.

"Are you ok?" Logan asked once they were back at his building.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Max, I'm sorry."

Max held her hand up, silencing him, "Don't worry about it. Just need to think."

"Where are you about to go?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Time for a little family reunion. I'll see ya," she said and walked to her bike.

"Yeah," he replied, pretty much to himself. He came to his door and heard her Ninja revving up and driving off. He sighed, and walked into his building, questioning their future.


	4. What to Expect

"Hey kids!" Max called, strolling into Joshua's house, "Did you play nice while I was gone?"

"You're back," Joshua stated as he lumbered in from the kitchen holding a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

"Of course," she said with a smile.

"Everything okay?"

Joshua shook his head and grunted, "She won't eat."

"Maybe she's not hungry."

"No. I hear her stomach. She's hungry, but won't eat," he stated sadly.

"Do you think it's Joshua's cooking?" he asked concerned.

Max shook her head and hugged him.

"No way, Big Fella," she smiled, "I'll talk to her."

"Okay," he replied and went into the living room.

When Max walked into the kitchen, she saw Brin sitting at the table reading a worn and tattered copy of The Da Vinci Code. She was about ¾ of the way through it.

Max laughed, "You just start that when I left?"

"Yes," she replied from behind the book cover.

"This is the wrong place to be if you're not trying to eat. I thought pregnant women were supposed to be eating for two."

"That is a perpetual lie used as an excuse for people to neglect their health and explain their grossly obese figures," Brin stated, never looking up.

Max sighed in annoyance, "Whatever. Fact is, you need to eat and keep your strength up."

"I'll be fine."

"Brin…"

Finally, Brin looked at Max in the face, "I said I'm fine."

Max rolled her eyes and decided that she wasn't going to get anywhere so she decided to change her tactic.

"Has the baby started kicking yet?"

Brin smirked, "Yeah. I think it's trying to fight its way out of me."

Max laughed, "Kicking ass in the womb. I think I'm gonna like this kid."

"You want 'em, he's yours."

Max turned toward Brin, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry about it," Brin replied and lifted up her book again.

"No." Max exclaimed and snatched the book away from Brin, "What the hell was that supposed to mean?"

"Give me that book back, little sister,"

"Answer the question."

Brin stood up, "Keep it. I need to stretch my legs anyway."

Brin turned to walk away and then Max grabbed her arm.

"Don't try to dump your kid on me. That's on you…sister."

"Like hell it is," Brin whispered ripping her arm away from Max's grasp.

"This is your fault," she stated gesturing to her swollen form.

"I don't want this baby. You just had to attack Manticore, didn't you? It's not bad enough that because of you, they got me pregnant. Then you had to destroy it completely so I have no place for this baby to live."

"You call what they made us do in there living? This is a chance give this child a family that we never had. He'll be born free," Max urged.

"Free? What is that supposed to mean, Max? The city is under martial law. Trangenics are being killed left and right. It's only a matter of time before this country erupts and you call this free. At Manticore, we had a place, a purpose and a reason for living."

"What? Mission. Duty. Discipline. Living and fighting for the country ignores us. Killing. Destroy lives. Is that what you call a purpose? A reason for living? That's pathetic."

"It's better than pretending to be something, I'm not. You're not one of them. You're a soldier. A warrior."

"You know who also said that to me?" Max said looking at Brin directly in the eye.

"Ben."

Brin's expression turned curious at the sound of Ben's name.

"Ben's dead."

"I know," Max said softly, "I killed him."

"You?"

"He asked me too. Lydecker was closing in on us and we wouldn't have been able to get out together. He didn't want to back there."

"He was crazy."

"But did they tell you what he did? He tried to recreate Manticore wherever he went. He reenacted that night in woods when we killed that death row inmate. You remember that don't you?"

"Yes," Brin replied softly.

"He relived his moments as a soldier, a warrior and killed innocent people in the process. Is that what you want? To be a warrior again? Your kid?"

"That's what we were made to for," Brin said sternly.

"Yeah, but they made a mistake along the way and gave us souls! And free will!"

Brin smirked, "Free will. Free will. Dammit, I don't want it. I don't want this kid. I don't want this responsibility. I don't want it at all. It was so much easier before at Manticore. They gave me and order and I'd follow it. No questions."

"And when it all went to hell, they start shooting at me and trying to kill me. I didn't want to go. But if I know if I stayed, I would die. I don't know how I did it, but somehow, I followed the same route I did the night we escaped. The past and present just melded together as I ran. I was weak," Brin concluded

"You were trying to survive."

"I should have stayed."

"And let them kill you?"

"A soldier accepts her fate without questions or hesitation," she replied.

Max stood up, put the book down and pushed a bowl of macaroni and cheese toward Brin, "Doesn't that prove that you are more than that?"

Max walked out the kitchen without another word. Brin looked from the bowl to the book and back again. She sighed and picked up her fork.

_Next day_

"I have good news," Sam started holding the results of Max and Logan's tests in his hands.

It was the next morning and Max and Logan were sitting in his office at Harbor Lights Medical Center in separate chairs.

"You both tested negative for any STD's" he stated.

"Told ya," Max commented.

"Another thing, Max," he said facing her, "There seems to be a lower concentration of the retrovirus in your system."

Max and Logan both looked at Sam with questioning eyes.

"What does that mean? Is my body fighting it or something?" Max asked.

"I don't know. You still could kill Logan with the amount of the virus that you have left, but it is a significantly less amount than what you started with."

"How did this happen, Sam?" Logan asked, leaning forward.

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "Again, I know just as much as you do."

"You have no idea?" Max pressed.

Sam sighed, hearing the desperation in Max's voice, "I do have one hypothesis."

"Let's hear it."

"I suppose its best if I'm frank," Sam took a deep breath.

"During intercourse, there is an exchange of bodily fluids, sweat, saliva…

"…we get the picture," Max interrupted.

"Yes. It is safe to assume that some of Logan's DNA ended up in your body while the virus was dormant."

"Once it was active again, it is possible that the virus attacked whatever was left of Logan's DNA in your system."

"Is that what made me sick?" she asked, connecting the dots in her head.

"Not exactly. Your immune system, I believe, responded to the virus as threat when it attacked Logan's DNA, as such, it expelled it from your body resulting in…

"Massive puking," replied Max.

"Exactly."

"Interesting theory, Sam," Logan said, "But then why isn't all gone."

Sam eyes went to Max for a moment and returned to Logan's face, "You guess is as good as mine"


	5. When You're Expecting

Logan opened the door for Max as she quietly went outside. As she started for her Ninja, Logan grabbed her arm. Shocked, she snapped and turned around to face him.

"What do you think your doing!" she implored.

Logan lifted his gloved hand.

"Getting your attention," he replied.

"Getting yourself killed is more like it," she responded and went to straddle her bike.

"Max, we haven't talked since yesterday."

She swung her head to the side, "What is there to talk about?"

"Us," he pressed, "Asha?"

"Look, everyone makes mistakes. I did, you did. We're even."

"Max, I know you're not that forgiving."

"Maybe," she said putting on her yellow-tinted glasses on and revving up her bike, "You don't know me as well as you think you do."

Logan put his hand on hers and she stopped revving her bike. Her gaze went from him to his hand as they started gliding over her arms. When he reached her face, she stared back at him, confused and lustful at the same time. He took off her glasses and folded him into the front of her shirt. He held her face and looked at her straight on. Unwavering devotion stared back at her.

"Doubtful," he said. They stayed in that position at minute longer allowing Max to lean into him and pull back. He went into his Aztec, leaving her in a slight daze until she heard his car start. Grabbing her glasses, she resumed revving her bike and left, leaving the moment behind her.

Through his window, Sam watched the couple part. He wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing, keeping the truth from them, but he didn't want to cause them more pain than necessary. They had been through so much in the time that he had known them and he had no clue what his news would bring. Anyone who looked at them could see how much they loved each other no matter how much or maybe because of the tension between the two. Sam walked away from his window. He really hoped that he was wrong about what he had found, but he knew most likely, he wasn't. He knew that his discovery had the possibly to destroy Max and Logan forever, virus or not.

* * *

Max hated this. She had planned on going to Joshua's to check up on Brin, but she couldn't do it. She was thinking too much about what had happened between her and Logan in the parking lot. She hated that Logan was right. She hadn't even attempted to really think about what he did. It hurt too much. She wanted to sweep up the rug and pretend it never happened, that he never touched Asha, that he never kissed her, that he never… She just didn't want to think about it. She knew that she should listen to him and she should forgive him, like he did her a year ago.

Her and Rafer. In her head, she could even justify that she didn't even need his forgiveness that night. They were still just friends back then…kind of…not really. Because she remembered that morning and how she couldn't stop crying, ashamed. She wondered if he felt the same way, when he was with Asha during those months when she was dead… She still didn't want to think about it. She wanted to pretend to back in time. Back when things were simple, back when it was just her and her Ninja.

_Two days later_

Logan eased himself out of the shower as he heard the phone ring. He dried himself of quickly and got into his wheelchair, trying to get to the phone before…

"You have reached the number you dialed."

…the answering machine picked up.

"Logan. It's Sam. I'd rather not talk about this over the phone, but…"

"Sam," Logan interrupted as he picked up the phone, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…yet. Maybe you sit down for this," he stated.

"I am sitting down, Sam. What's going on?" Logan questioned getting considered. He locked his brakes, just in case.

Sam sighed, "I really shouldn't be telling you this. I should be talking to her."

"Her? It's about Max? What's wrong with her?" Logan asked, worried.

"There's nothing…wrong. It just…"

"Sam, get to the point!" Logan implored irritated.

Sam let another deep breath, "She's pregnant, Logan."

Logan dropped the phone. _Oh shit, _he thought as his eyes began to bulge out of their sockets. He took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge, trying to at least minimally process this information. He took a breath and regained the strength to pick up the phone again.

"Logan, you there?" Sam asked on the other end.

"Yeah, yeah. Just…yeah, I'm fine. Wow, that's news," he concluded, slowly getting his senses back.

"So…" Logan continued, not really talking to Sam at this moment, "I'm gonna be a father."

"No, Logan, you won't," Sam replied.

"But didn't you say Max is pregnant?" he asked, confused.

"Yes, but Max won't be able to carry the child to term," he stated.

"What? Why? Several of her sisters have had healthy children, why not her?" he demanded.

"Because it's your child. The virus that she carries is specific tuned to your DNA and is very advanced. The virus has identified your DNA in her womb and it will attack. The only reason that I believe it hasn't happened yet is because it needs time to mutate," he finished.

Logan shook his head, "Just like the protein casing."

"Um?" Sam questioned.

"That's why the cure was only temporary. Cause it mutates so quickly. Damn."

"Logan, I'm sorry."

"Damn!" Logan yelled, "And Max doesn't know."

"No," Sam sighed, "And I don't how to tell her."

Logan closed his eyes and lean back in his char slightly, "And you think I do! We're barely even talking, Sam."

Rubbing his hand across his face, he continued, "How long does she… it… How long, Sam?"

"A week. A week in a half, maximum. But she will miscarry and you should be prepared when that happens."

Logan shook his head, "No, Sam. There's has to be a way."

"Logan," Sam started softly, trying to talk sense into him.

"NO!" Logan shouted, "There just has to be. I can't tell her. There has to be a way to save her and… and…"

Logan took one last breath, "Goodbye, Sam."

He hung up the phone and started on a new mission to save what could be.


	6. Family Love

Sleep was the enemy. A waste of time that he couldn't afford. Every minute spent in unconsciousness was a minute wasted that could have been used to save his unborn child. Eyes Only was silent. This was not about saving the world or bringing the corrupt to justice, this was Logan Cale, a man, stripped, bare, trying to do what he could so he wouldn't have to face the one he loved and wallow in the abyss of self pity. He's research was hype-intense, even for him. He barely ate, drank or slept. There wasn't enough time. He was looking into every possibility from surrogate mothers to how HIV could be prevented from going from mother to child. Every angle, every possibility he explored, but he was often at a loss. This option had too many risks, this option would ask too many questions, this option was in another country…nothing seemed to work. And Logan figured out something that Sam had failed to mention, probably thinking that he would sound insensitive. If Logan let Max's miscarriage happen, the virus would no longer be in her body. By killing the baby, the virus would have completed its mission and Max's immune system would do the rest. She would be cured and they could be together.

Logan knew that Sam thought that his search for a cure or a way out was useless, but the alternative was worse. Waiting for Max to get sick, feeling helpless and preparing himself for the pain that he knew would follow. With something like this, Logan knew that Max might never forgive herself. She was filled with so much guilt from nearly killing him, releasing the trangenics and most of all, the deaths of her siblings, Ben, Tinga and especially Zack. Max was strong, the strongest woman he knew in fact, but he wondered would this too much? How much could one person take? He knew that she wanted everyone to think that she was super-tough and nearly indestructible, but he knew better. He knew that although her entire life had forced her to be self-reliant, at heart she was just a girl looking for love and acceptance.

_Sleep is the enemy_, he thought as he remembered the woman he loved. To prevent seeing her in pain he would do more than lose sleep; he'd risk his health and his life.

* * *

Max was spending most of her time with Brin when she wasn't working. Although she would prefer to have Brin on the next bus out of Seattle, the fact was that she seemed too close to giving birth that Max did not want to risk it. Despite everything, Max didn't want her to be alone when she gave birth. She still felt a little guilty letting Brin be taken back to Manticore. Somehow Max knew, call it maternal instinct, that giving birth is not something you want to go through by yourself. On top of that, Logan hadn't talked to her for the past few days, not since they were in the parking lot, so she couldn't even call on him for quick passports, new identities etc.

Every day, Brin complained more and more about the child she was carrying. It hurt to sit down, it hurt to stand up and Max and Joshua had to be there for all of it. Being the solider that she was, Brin couldn't keep still and her belly simply an inconvenience to her, impairing her free movement and slowing her reflexes.

"This thing just won't come out!" Brin complained, sitting on one of the Joshua's house.

"What?" asked Max, distracted in her thoughts, sitting in a chair in the living room.

"Nothing I just wish this spawn would get out of my body," Brin replied as she swung the rest of her body on the couch, one leg at a time.

Max huffed, "You know most women consider having a baby a blessing."

Brin turned her face to her, angry, "You want to be pregnant, be my guest."

"No, that's okay," Max said getting up, "I'll just have to live vicariously through you."

"Whoa!" Brin exclaimed suddenly and touched her womb.

Max rushed over to her, "What's the matter?"

Brin shook her head, "Nothing. It just kicked again. A lot harder this time."

"It shouldn't be long, now."

"I hope so."

"So have you thought of a name yet?"

Brin had a surprised look on her face.

"A name? I…aaa…hadn't really thought about it. I just call it whatever the barcode number is."

Max rolled her eyes, "My nephew won't be called 381."

"Shut up, Max!" Brin called, "You act like this thing is yours. If I want to called it by its barcode, that's my business!"

"Your child is not an it! He is going to be a living, breathing human being looking for his mother's love."

Brin looked at Max with cold eyes, "I can't give what I don't have, Max."

Brin took a breath and continued slowly, looking of into space. She placed her hand on her womb.

"I'm going to take care of this baby. Food, clothes and shelter. But I can't… love it," she replied and then returned her gaze to Max, "I don't even know what love is."

Brin's confession broke Max's heart. She took her sister's hand before speaking, hoping that some show of affection would help her sister understand what she was about to say. Brin looked at her suspiciously, but Max continued anyway.

"Yes, you do, you just don't remember. I love you and so did all of our brothers and sisters. We loved each other."

Brin shook her head, "That wasn't love, Max. That was military conditioning. You put a unit together for any period of time, they will bond and be stronger as a team. Psyc-ops 101."

"Then why are you here, Brin? Why did you come to me?"

"Cause I thought I could trust you…enough. I knew it was likely you would take me in."

"Why? Why didn't you think I'd kill you from the moment I saw you?"

Brin dropped Max's hand and looked away, "I don't know."

Max smirked and picked Brin's hand up again, "Because, despite all that's happened, we're sisters."

Brin turned to Max and saw the genuine concern in her eyes. She remembered the last time she had seen Max that way. When Zack and she had left her on that park bench, promising her that they would return and save her. Max and Zack had loved her enough to consent to her wishes and not let her die. She might have been weak then, but she had seen the tears and both their eyes when they agreed to let her be taken back to Manticore. Memories of her and her siblings in the barracks came back to her mind, small games that they would create, support they would give each other with their eyes, stories they would tell; the flood gates had opened and for the first time in months, Brin began to remember who she was. At Manticore, they only focused on what their creation were, not who they could become. Max was right. They messed up along the way and give their perfect soldiers souls. With Max caring for her the past few days, she felt like she was beginning to reclaim her soul. Brin let out a small smile, her first genuine one in a long time. She squeezed Max's hand and nodded.

"Sisters."


	7. Teaser

I know, I know, I know. This doesn't even qualify as a chapter. But this is just a little something to let everyone know that I haven't forgot about this story. I've been going through some interesting things lately and a few brain farts. Don't kill me, but I promise you this, I am working on it and this story will have an ending hopefully by Christmas. I'm gonna be putting myself on a schedule. Enough about me, on to the teaser….

"AAAH!" Brin screamed, clutching her belly and lying down. On the couch two days later, Brin was in the middle of labor with a sheet covering the bottom of her legs. With Max to her right and Sam taking care of the birth, all Brin had to worry about was pushing something the size of watermelon out of a hole the size of an almond.

"Brin, you can't push yet. Slow, strong breaths, okay," Sam instructed, having learned her name earlier that day.

"What the hell do you expect me to that!" Brin shouted.

"Just stay calm," Sam replied.

"CALM!"

Sam gave a pleading look to Max. Feeling bad for the guy, Max decided to try to get her sister a little more relaxed.

"Let the man do his job. He's just tryin' to help."

Brin snapped her head over to Max and glared at her, "If he was really trying to help, he'd cut me open and get this thing the hell out of me!"

"Yelling ain't helping things. Now if you wanna get this over with do as the man says and 'Breathe," Max commanded in a tone that told Brin to stop arguing. She concentrated on her breathing for a few long minutes before Sam announced he was ready for her to push. She grunted and groaned while squeezing Max's hand until the tips turned bright red.

"You're doing good, Brin. Just a little more," Sam encouraged.

"Yeah, keep it up," Max stated in a strained voice, trying not to show how much Brin's grip was hurting her.

"I see the head!" Sam announced and then looked up to see Brin's face.

"Ok, I need a big push."

Brin took a deep breath with all of her might, she squeezed her inner muscles and pushed. Suddenly a loud wail filled the room.

"AAAAHHhhhhh!" screamed the baby.

Sam cut the umbilical cord, cleaned the baby and presented it to Brin.

"Congratulations, it's a boy," he said.

Brin clutched the little bundle in her arms. Her head was pounding, her body ached, she was mentally and emotionally exhausted, but somewhere she found the strength to look at this new life in the face. Brin saw her life reflected back at her in this little boy. He represented Manticore, danger, sacrifice, freedom and… hope. Brin lifted him to look at the back of his neck. It was clean, no markings. Brin made a slow smile and held him close to her chest.

"Not a number," was the last things she said before she passed out.


	8. Poison

With new life being the center of attention, Max hardly had time to focus on herself or Logan for that matter. Although Brin brought a lot of bad memories with her, the baby filled everyone with hope. Max had planned on kicking Brin out as soon as the baby was born, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, she actually seemed to work harder to keep her there. Max took extra runs at Jam Pony to earn more money for the baby and did a little cat burglary on the side. She either bought or stole things that Brin would need to take care of the baby. Everything from bottles to baby wipes, Max tried to get.

"So you gonna do this run with me or not," Original Cindy asked, irritated.

"Huh? What?" she asked snapping out of her daze.

Original Cindy shifted closer to Max, "Girl, what is up with you? You been out of it all week."

Max rubbed her head, "I'm sorry. It's just Brin and the baby. I haven't been able get that much sleep."

Original Cindy looked at her strangely, "Sleep? Last time I checked, you and sleep don't met too often. Anything else going on?"

Max shook her head, "Nah."

"Have you talked to Logan lately?"

Max stood up and grabbed her bike, "Don't you have a run to do?"

Original Cindy rolled her eyes, "I'll take that as a no."

Original Cindy got up and grabbed her bike as well.

"So what happened?" she asked at the rolled toward the exit.

"Everything, but this isn't like him. He hasn't called me two weeks. Eyes Only has been silent. For all I know, he could be dead."

"Whoa! You're jumping M.I.A. to dead. Don't think of it. Have you checked his place?"

"I've wanted to. So many times, but then the baby cries or I gotta get something or…"

"Bip, Bip, Bip! Come on, people! I'm not paying you slackers to sit on your asses!" screeched Normal.

Max and Original Cindy rolled their eyes and groaned.

"Or that happens," Max finished.

"I hear ya. But…"

Suddenly Max stopped. Original Cindy turned back to her.

"Max?"

Max's eyes fluttered and her body started seizing. She fell to the ground on her bike. Original Cindy rushed over to her.

"Ci…Cin…Cin…"

Original Cindy bent down, "Shh, girl. Don't talk. Now your pills are in your bag right."

Original Cindy unzipped the top pocket of Max's backpack. She took the bottle of pills and opened it. She tried to get Max to take some but she was seizing too hard. Suddenly. Original Cindy saw Max's jeans changing color down her legs.

"SKETCHY!" Original Cindy shouted.

Sketchy ran, "Oh my God!"

"Grab her arms! We need to get her off this bike!" Original Cindy ordered.

They lifted Max together and moved her to the solid ground.

"Ca….call…Lo… ca… him…" Max stuttered. Original Cindy nodded quickly.

"I got you," Original Cindy replied and ran to the phone. Her call went directly to voicemail.

"You have reached the number, you dialed," rang the machine through the apartment.

"Logan! We at Jam Pony! Max needs you! NOW!" Original Cindy cried over the answering machine. Logan was out the door before the message was even finished. He raced the Jam Pony as fast as he could, hating the fact he had to stop every few miles to get through a sector checkpoint. He just hoped he could get there in time, but in his heart, he knew he was already too late.

After she got off the phone, Original Cindy went back to Max's side. She picked her up and held her.

"What are you guys doing?" shouted a young female messenger, "She needs to go to a hospital"

"No. This gonna pass," Original Cindy responded quickly. Max could afford to be taken to the hospital. Not now. Slowly Max's seizure subsided. Original Cindy told Sketchy to her the pills. Max swallowed them and, carefully, they were able to get her to bench.

"Somebody get this girl some water." Original Cindy ordered.

"I'm, I'm, I'm okay," Max stuttered.

Original Cindy held Max tighter.

"No, you ain't. So stop frontin'," Original Cindy demanded.

She looked around and saw everyone staring at her and Max.

"Hey! Don't ya'll got jobs to do!"

A girl held her hands up in surrender and went on her way to deliver a package. The rest of the messengers followed her lead although Normal was walking against the flow, approaching Max and Original Cindy.

"What's going on?" he asked concerned.

"I don't know, but I think…"

"You got your personal day. Both of you. Just get her back on her feet," he stated being oddly sympathetic.

Original and Max didn't have time to think about Normal's attitude as Logan ran through the entrance, nearly knocking Sketchy down along the way.

"Thank God!" Original Cindy exclaimed as soon as he was in view.

He tried to pick Max up, but she fought him.

"I can walk," she said and tried to stand. She shuttered and her legs gave out. Logan grabbed her and scooped her legs up. Max passed out in his arms.

"No, you can't," he uttered and ran out to his car. Original Cindy helped Logan get Max into the back seat. Original stayed in the back with Max as Logan drove. Only while they were on the road did Original Cindy take in Logan's appearance. He looked like he did when Max was gone. Unshaven, unkempt, but what Original Cindy noticed most was the wetness around his eyes, enhanced by his glasses. She stroked Max's hair and looked questioning into Logan's reflection in the rear view mirror.

"What's wrong with her?" asked Original Cindy.

Logan's voice came out in angry sniffles, "I was too late."

* * *

Max looked over the city from the Seattle Space Needle. It had been a while since she had been up here, but she desperately needed to think. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to scream or cry or just jump off this structure which was usually such a comfort to her. When she woke up in Sam's office, she was in a hospital gown and Sam tried to tell her what happened in the most gentle way possible.

_Flashback_

"Max?" Sam asked.

Max shifted as she regained consciousness, "Huh?"

Max's eyes began to focus, "Sam? What's going on?"

Sam took Max's hand, "Max, I'm so sorry. There's nothing I could do."

Max took her hand back and looked at Sam suspiciously, "Sam, what are talking about? I just has seizure. Notin' new."

"Logan didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what? You're scaring me."

"Max, I'm sorry. You had a miscarriage."

_End of Flashback_

_You're poison._ Renfro had said to her once. Max felt like she was right. Max had hurt or killed everyone she ever loved. _And everyone I could have loved_, she thought.

_Flashback_

"What? I was pregnant!" Max shouted. Her shock turned to anger.

"How could Logan not tell me?" she seethed.

Sam moved closer to Max, "He was trying to save the baby. And you."

Max gave Sam a look of confusion. Sam took a breath.

"We knew this would happen. I told him that the retrovirus would cause a miscarriage, but Logan wouldn't hear it. He tried to find a way to stop it from happening."

Max closed her eyes and laid back in the bed.

"Sam, could you leave me alone for while?"

Sam nodded.

"One more thing you should know. You don't have the retrovirus anymore. It's gone, due to the miscarriage."

Max let out a harsh laugh.

"You gotta to be joking," she stated bitterly with water filling her eyes. As soon as he left, Max started shaking with tears. She was as silent as possible. She saw a set of clean clothes folded neatly beside the bed. She had to get out of there. She quickly got dressed and snuck out of the hospital to the Space Needle.

_End of Flashback_

The pain she felt just wouldn't go away. She felt this all consuming ache in her heart for the child she would never know, the child that she had killed with her own body. It was a miracle itself that she could conceive at all, but that miracle was ripped away from her and tainted like so many other miracles that had come her way. She had been a mother for two weeks and didn't even know it until it was all over.

Max heard footsteps behind her. The slight _wwrrr_ of the exoskeleton gave away the person before he stepped outside. She didn't wonder too much about why Logan didn't tell her. A whack form of protection she figured, but they could deal with that later. Now, now…

"Do you regret it?" Max asked once he came closer to her, still staring at the city.

"Regret what?" he replied standing beside her.

"The night we spent together?"

"Max," he started reaching out for her hand. Quickly, she moved it away, clutching it to herself. Logan looked back at her sternly.

"Neither one of us could have known what was going to happen."

"That's not what I asked, Logan."

"No," he replied simply, "I don't regret it."

"I was mother," she started with her eyes drifting off into space, "Only for a short time, but I was. I had our baby growing inside me. But because I'm a freak show destined to destroy all I love, our child had to die," she uttered, trying to hold back the emotion in her voice so she could speak clearly. Finally, she turned and faced Logan with her tear-stained face.

"How can you stand to look at me? I killed… I… I…" Max stated, breaking down into sobs. Muttering intelligible phrases as guilt and sorrow went through her body. Logan quickly grabbed her and held her to him, trying to comfort her and sooth the pain that she was feeling. He was in pain too, but he didn't blame her. He rocked her and kissed her forehead. He hugged her tighter saying, "You can't blame yourself" and "I love you, I _still_ love you. Always."

Slowly, she calmed down and they both relaxed.

"It's because of that child that you can hold me like this."

"I know," Logan said still rubbing her back, "Saved my life."

"Is it worth it? Touching?" she asked, grabbing his hand and examining it, "Trading life for this?"

Logan took a deep breath and then turned Max's face to look at him.

"No," he answered.

"Max, I would trade my life in an instant for the life of our baby. But that's not a choice that was up to me or you."

"I wish it was."

"Me too, Max," he admitted, hugging her again, "Me too."

And there they stood. Together, where time was of no consequence as they mourned and wondered. The future was mystery and their past held so much pain, that they just wanted to live in present right now. They looked out into city quietly, trying to accept the things that had happened to them. The lives had been spared and the life that had been taken. Words were no longer adequate to express their feelings, so in silence, they hoped to find their answers. Together.


End file.
